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Petra.
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Re: If it hurts, it's not love
Reply #105 - 14.11.2003 at 10:29:57
 
UNDER EVERY ROLE IS A TEMPTATION TO DIE


Roles cover over a lot of pain. A role is a hard outer shell, a piece of character we began to take on in a situation where we felt like we wanted to die. We felt so valueless, like such a total failure, that we gave up our selfhood and took on a role. A role is doing the right thing for the wrong reason, and because of this, it never lets us receive. No matter how much we succeed, we are not nurtured by the reward. A role may help a child early in life to have a good sense of character, and even to know right from wrong, but later on in life those roles become the armour that weighs us down, the heaviness that exhausts us. We are not being nurtured by what we are doing since we are doing it because we are supposed to. Beneath every role is a sense of tiredness, a sense of worthlessness about who we are. These are the original feelings that helped us build the roles, for roles are compensations and defences. Everyone around us may think we are a great success, but we feel worn out, a mere shell or even a fraud. Roles look good, but they weigh us down and kill us.


If you are in touch with these original feelings of valuelessness and worthlessness, know that you are just naturally working through a role and understand what the role has compensated for. One of the easiest ways to move through a role is through choice. Instead of just automatically doing what you feel you are supposed to do, make a choice that, "This is what I choose to do." Your choice then creates a true form of giving, an aspect of your life that can heal you and feed you. True giving, where you really give, not because you are supposed to, but because you choose to, makes all the difference. If you are getting to a place of death temptation, which is at the bottom of every role you have, do not be frightened of it. Face the death temptation, knowing it is the way through and that at the other end, there is a place of breakthrough. Running away from the feeling of wanting to die simply empowers it. Face it squarely while choosing to live. Feel the feelings until they are gone to move you past the death temptation. What was a role for you now becomes real; you now have regained the centre you lost so long ago.
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Re: If it hurts, it's not love
Reply #106 - 25.11.2003 at 10:14:50
 
WHEN I JOIN OTHERS IN THEIR PLACE OF ISOLATION, THEY HEAL AND I RECEIVE A GIFT


When people around us have withdrawn and isolated themselves because the experiences of life have been so painful, we are being asked to recognise that they need us. In fact, any problem of life is a result of this withdrawal. We can find that cave within them where they have hidden, and stand outside, pouring our love toward them, smiling because we love them enough to see where they've hidden themselves. As we join them, our love will move them toward and into healing. It will get them moving forward once again. As they move forward, responding to how much we've cared for them, they will come out of their isolation, illness, and pain. We also receive a gift.


Today, there is one person that you are called upon to reach out to, a person who has withdrawn. Let them come to your mind and, even before you begin to move toward them physically in any way, move toward them in your mind's eye. See yourself joining with them. Your caring, love, and responsiveness will make a world of difference to them. It will make a world of difference to you, too
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Re: If it hurts, it's not love
Reply #107 - 26.11.2003 at 17:10:52
 
"EXPECT NOTHING, AND ANYTHING SEEMS LIKE EVERYTHING. EXPECT ANYTHING, AND EVERYTHING SEEMS NOTHING." - SAM HAZO


Expectations are limitations; they are also demands. When we expect or demand something, the getting feels empty; whereas without expectations, anything can be a gift. Anything can provide wonder and offer new ways of thinking. If we have a picture of how it should be, our expectation leads to disappointment and frustration. Every expectation is a demand of someone else. When we feel demanded of we, sometimes, just totally refuse and, other times, we give what is demanded, even though giving because of expectations tends to make us feel oppressed. Our willingness to let go of all our expectations, our ideas of how a person or things should be, allows us and the situation to move forward.


Today, notice one area of frustration and disappointment in your life. Be willing to let go of what you expect and how you think it should be so you can move forward. Be willing to have wonder and new ways of thinking that move you toward success. Be willing to learn.
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Joj kolk radi drug drugemu izdiramo iveri iz oči! Cheesy
 
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A BAD FEELING IS RELEASED BY TRUE GIVING
Reply #108 - 01.12.2003 at 11:52:52
 



When we feel self-conscious, embarrassed, or criticised, we tend to contract. If at the very time we felt bad, we gave, we would be expanded. We would step through the wall of our personalities and know ourself as bigger. The easiest way to move through a bad feeling or even just a blah feeling is to truly give.


Today, ask yourself, "Who is it that needs my help?" Whomever pops into your mind, ask yourself, "What is the best way for me to help them?" What comes into your mind? You could send love to them by calling, writing, or supporting them in some way. It might be a certain thing they need. You could just imagine that thing is pouring down from the universe, filling you, and pouring through you to them. As you reach out to them, you break through the invisible wall around you and you feel good again.
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Re: If it hurts, it's not love
Reply #109 - 08.12.2003 at 09:01:27
 
WITHOUT COMMITMENT TO A COMMON GOAL, ANY CONFLICT COULD DESTROY A RELATIONSHIP


If you do not have a common goal, then any conflict could be the last one in your relationship, the thing that brings your relationship down. When we have a common goal or commitment that we have chosen together with our partner, then any conflict that comes up is just something to move through on the way to that goal. As we resolve each conflict, we build another layer of partnership.


Today, take some time to close your eyes and visualise your purpose in the relationship. What is it you want? What is it you have chosen? Feel your partner arm-in-arm with you, moving forward in confidence toward this goal. Know that you can step through each conflict together on the way to the goal. As you commit, the power of the conflict is lessened and the power of the relationship is increased.
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Re: If it hurts, it's not love
Reply #110 - 12.12.2003 at 09:51:07
 
BLESSING IS THE ANTIDOTE TO SACRIFICE


When we are in positions of sacrifice, we feel unworthy. We do not feel good enough to be equal in the situation, so we feel we have to give up who we are and only do things for others. Blessing is the opposite of sacrifice; it is our desire that things be good for the other person and the situation. Blessing says, "I have power. I can give in this situation, and my blessing will make the situation better. I don't need to sacrifice myself. I can give forth a blessing." By giving our energy, love, and best wishes that things be good, we change the situation. Where we felt we had given up on ourself, we can begin to recognise our worth.


Today, dispense blessings to everyone, especially in situations where you are tempted to judge someone. Release your judgements, release all temptations to go into sacrifice, and bless everyone with whom you come into contact.
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Nobena čarovnija ne more ničesar spremeniti v kaj drugega, tega ni; sprememba v predstavi v srcu čarovnije je spoznanje, ne ustvarjanje.&&(S. Palwick)
 
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Re: If it hurts, it's not love
Reply #111 - 24.12.2003 at 15:11:14
 
MY EXPERIENCE AND MEMORIES ARE PERCEPTIONS, NOT EVENTS


In any situation, we are really experiencing the filters that an event comes through, not the event itself. This is why our memories and experiences may seem quite different from others' with whom we shared the event. We have very little idea what our childhood was really like since we make up stories based on the facts that fit our present mode in which we are operating in the world at the time. As we grow and change, our attitude toward our past changes, and then our experience changes. As we heal ourself, many times our opinions about our mother, father, or siblings are transformed. When we come to a full understanding of any event, including all subconscious elements, we realise no one is to blame, not even us. The hurt in the situation falls away because truth has to do with a level of understanding that releases all pain. All healing is about changing our perceptions into something even truer. We know it is the truth because there is no pain connected with it.


Today, in any situation where you may be experiencing conflict or pain, begin to communicate. Most misunderstandings and pain are healed as a result of clarification. Use communication as a vehicle to clear up any misunderstandings and misperceptions, and to experience other's perception of the event. Communication brings everyone to full understanding and truth.
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Re: If it hurts, it's not love
Reply #112 - 05.01.2004 at 09:43:48
 
A BROKEN HEART IS ALWAYS AN ATTEMPT TO CONTROL SOMEONE THROUGH GUILT


A broken heart means that we are on the losing end of a power struggle. Basically, our broken heart is an attempt to make others feel guilty so that they will meet our needs or do things our way; it's a form of emotional blackmail. The attempt to control will neither bring happiness, nor will it get our needs met; it will just create a bigger power struggle.


Today, be willing to move toward, instead of away from your partner. Be willing to not use your feelings as a bludgeon to get your partner to do what you want them to do. Rather than fighting with your partner and using different forms of manipulation, give them a gift. This can be a physical gift or an emotional gift, as long as it is something you freely and fully give to them. Be aware though, that if someone has broken up with you, an external gift may be a form of manipulation, and refused as such. If this has happened to you, give them an internal gift, such as forgiveness, letting go, gratitude, or sending them love without attachment. The extent of the gift that you give will be the extent of your release.
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Nobena čarovnija ne more ničesar spremeniti v kaj drugega, tega ni; sprememba v predstavi v srcu čarovnije je spoznanje, ne ustvarjanje.&&(S. Palwick)
 
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Re: If it hurts, it's not love
Reply #113 - 20.01.2004 at 15:19:20
 
FUSION BLOCKS COMMUNICATION


Fusion blocks communication because we feel so close to the person, we think that we cannot say certain things to them. When we begin communicating, there is a natural resistance, almost a repelling, because we feel if they were hurt by anything we said, we would be devastated; our emotions are blown all out of proportion. We hurt when they hurt, we suffer when they suffer. When they are angry, it is explosive for us, and it is even more explosive when they are angry at us. This over-closeness tends to block verbal communication, so we have a sense of non-verbally communicating everything back and forth. A look can speak of how much we love them or of how much they dislike what we are doing. We feel verbal communication would cause pain, and we are unwilling to create dialogue, so there are just the glances that say it all. However, giving ourself permission to dialogue would create healing through communication.


Today, think of the people in your life you really have a hard time saying certain things to. These are the people you are fused with and with whom you are really unwilling to take a certain risk. Imagine yourself cutting the cords of fusion with the sword of truth so you can really establish a dialogue with them. If there are things you have wanted to say to these people, now is the time to say them. Whether you are fused with your lover, your mate, your parent, or your child, cut the cord of fusion and take the risk of beginning a dialogue with them.
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Re: If it hurts, it's not love
Reply #114 - 04.02.2004 at 09:54:45
 
IF I WANT THE BEST IN MY RELATIONSHIP, I GIVE MY BEST


What we are receiving in our relationship allows us to recognise what we are giving. Since we want the best in our relationship, to have it, we give it. Giving the best of ourself allows us to enjoy the best in other people. Giving the best in ourself opens doors that, otherwise, would not be opened, and provides the opportunities for new gifts, new fun, and new enjoyment to arise in our relationship.


Today give your very best. Give your heart, give your all, and notice what a great day it is.
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Nobena čarovnija ne more ničesar spremeniti v kaj drugega, tega ni; sprememba v predstavi v srcu čarovnije je spoznanje, ne ustvarjanje.&&(S. Palwick)
 
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Re: If it hurts, it's not love
Reply #115 - 04.02.2004 at 10:07:18
 
Devi wrote on 04.02.2004 at 09:54:45:
Today give your very best. Give your heart, give your all, and notice what a great day it is.



Huh, kr mravljinci so mi šli.  Smiley Wink
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Re: If it hurts, it's not love
Reply #116 - 04.02.2004 at 19:20:38
 
I CAN ONLY ENTER HEAVEN NOW, NEVER ON AN INSTANT REPLAY


Many of us think back to idyllic times in the past when we felt like we were in Heaven, but thinking back to those times is just something our mind uses to help make up for the lack we feel right now. Heaven is a state of consciousness that can only be entered now; trying to live in the past does not make us happy. Replaying those idyllic times is really a lie, because, even during those times, there was something missing that drove us on, searching for something more. We now have a chance to fully learn the lesson and gain a much greater sense of happiness.


Today, choose to be present, in the moment so you can experience the Heaven within you. Close your eyes, and imagine that all the joy and happiness in the world is filling you up right now. Let it fill everything within you, your toes, feet, ankles, legs, genitals, hips, body, heart, lungs, all your organs, your arms, neck, face, head, eyes, ears, and to the very crown of your head. Feel it overflowing. Heaven is within you now. Don't get caught up in some self-concept that demands a certain amount of doing and, therefore, stress to fulfil. A self-concept is part of your attempt to fill a need or prove a point that is really unnecessary. At the deeper part of your mind is only Oneness, there is only Heaven to be experienced now.
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Re: If it hurts, it's not love
Reply #117 - 07.02.2004 at 10:21:46
 
JUDGEMENT IS ALWAYS OF A PERSON'S BODY, PERSONALITY, OR MISTAKES


Judgement can arise only if we are looking at a person's body, personality, or mistakes. If we look beyond that to the person's essence and gifts and to what is likeable about them, our judgement falls away. When we look to what we appreciate, our judgement cannot stand up. To see and join with this part of them is to free ourself, because judgement is always a two-edged sword that we use to attack others as we attack ourself.


Today, bring someone to mind that you have judgement on. Close your eyes and imagine yourself looking past the person's body, personality, and mistakes to what you appreciate about them. Then, look beyond that to their gifts. Now look even farther, look beyond their gifts to the place inside them where their light shines. Sit before that light a moment and notice that you cannot judge them as you look at the light of their spirit. In seeing this part of them you have freed yourself
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Re: If it hurts, it's not love
Reply #118 - 14.02.2004 at 07:55:09
 
LOSS IS ALMOST A NEW BEGINNING


Loss comes to clear the decks. It teaches us that what we were attached to could not really sustain us. Loss is the first step to a new beginning. If we do not finish our mourning, hold on to the past, or go into depressions so as not to move forward, then we do not have our new beginning. We do not see the dawn coming up after the dark if we resist the night. We are being asked to grow, mature, and move on so we can birth a new life for ourself.


Today, recognise that all your losses were really about new beginnings. Be willing to let go of all these losses so the new birth shows itself. Now the next good thing can come to you.
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Re: If it hurts, it's not love
Reply #119 - 15.02.2004 at 14:14:37
 
THERE IS NO PAIN MY LOVE COULD NOT HEAL


Our love has the power to join, the power to support, and the power to heal the world. Every problem is the result of some form of separation, but our love can build a bridge and join us with that person. Our love can fill that emptiness, because behind our love is the power of the universe and the power of miracles. As we give our love to everyone, the world around us is healed.


Today, you can make a difference. Someone is specifically calling for your help. Who is it? You do not have to be with or talk to them directly. Visualise them in front of you and pour your love into them. Fill them with your love. See them happy, healed, and whole. Even if you speak no words of love, the love of the Universe will pour through you to your friend who is in need.
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